Ad Sanandum
by Maggs0607
Summary: Their eyes locked again, cinnamon on amber and he once again had to remind himself that he needed to take this slow- that he needed to figure out himself still before he got lost in her- because his traitorous mind told him that he could drown in her quickly if he would open himself up. (Remione) Post-war AU. TWOSHOT.
1. Chapter 1

**Ad Sanandum (to heal)**

If JK Rowling can endorse time turners and screw with my decades long belief of cannon, well then I can make Remus live through the final battle.

This is Post War AU

Disclaimer: I don't own HP.

Thank you to everyone on tumblr that gave me positive reinforcement to encourage me to post here. Follow me on tumblr at mags0607.

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Minutes after the last vestiges of the full moon waned, Hermione carefully brought down the elaborate wards surrounding the cellar at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. She suppressed a small smirk as she watched them fall in a spark of magic. It had taken 11 months, but now, for the first time she could be with Remus the second the moon met the horizon, and not have to spend hours pacing the rickety basement stairs worrying about the state in which Remus would finally emerge.

And what a state it usually was.

The months after the battle of Hogwarts had not been kind to Remus Lupin, and every time Hermione thought about what was lost in the war, she couldn't help but feel Remus' loss even more keenly than her own. She may have lost her parents to a permanent obliviation charm, but at least they were still alive.

There were days where she was sure that if it wasn't for Teddy, Remus would have joined Tonks willingly on the next great adventure. Some days the look in his eyes suggested that he still wanted to.

Hermione felt the smirk slide from her face as she recalled stumbling upon the Lupins in battle. Tonks was already gone from the killing curse, but she had been _just_ in time to save Remus. She remembered the feel of his blood on her hands and her frantic chanting to mend the wounds and close the gaping hole in his chest. She remembered the desperate relief as she heard his thready heartbeat and felt his exhale against her wet cheek. She remembered weeping with relief as she put him in stasis, one more life spared; one more person they wouldn't have to mourn.

She had been the one to save his life, and she was going to try her damnedest to make it a life worth saving. If only the stubborn old wolf would let her. In the months since the battle, he fought her every step of e way.

The first three moons, Remus refused the wolfsbane. He barely talked -almost ceased to exist- and instead he'd gone into that forsaken cellar and let Moony howl at the tradegy and claw out all of his frustrations upon Remus' flesh. Moony felt the loss of Tonks even more keenly than his human counterpart, and the wolf inside him was not shy about inflicting wound upon wound as he trashed into the night. Remus had belatedly choked out that letting Moony wreak havoc on his body and soul was his penance for failing to protect yet another member of his pack. That it was his fault for letting them all die, especially Tonks.

Hermione could still clearly remember the way the smack she delivered echoed across his face.

On the approach to the fourth moon, she had used Teddy to try and reason with the distraught werewolf to take the potion. When that seemed to be failing, she had switched tactics and asked if he trusted her, or if he refused the potion because he believed she would fail. Guilt was a powerful motivator for Remus Lupin, and she triumphantly watched as he dutifully downed the wolfsbane with only a glare and a grimace.

The fifth moon ended in a screaming match. One day Remus found Hermione and Harry in the Black library pouring over animagus books. Even a full week away from the moon, his eyes flashed amber and he snarled that there was no way he was going to let ANYONE else sacrifice to be with him during the moon. A week later, Hermione was still bitterly complaining about the rejection and the werewolf was snarling even as he erected wards that tingled with so much malice and energy that it prevented her from even descending the stairs.

The sixth moon, she made a small amount of headway. She was sitting sentry at the top of the stairs as he emerged hours after sunrise from his warded prison, still looking much worse for wear than he should have. He was bruised and beaten but not broken, and for the first time since the battle, it looked like Moony had not been the victor in the clash of wills. She wordlessly handed him a vial of pain relief potion as he collapsed on the stairs beside her. He'd started talking, in halted breaths, telling her about how hard it was to move on; how much it pained him to leave Tonks in the past, how much it hurt to be the one to survive again. Hermione sat in silence, one hand covering his and vowed, not for the first time, that she would do anything in her power to continue to help heal this man of both his physical and emotional pain.

The seventh through tenth moons saw a bit of the old Remus return. He still erected the wards and silencing spells, but the difference was that she could wait right at the door. She was determined to count the gesture as progress. He'd even shot her a wan smile as she handed over the wolfsbane and gripped her hand for just a few seconds longer than normal. When she walked downstairs on the tenth moon, she found a cushioning charm and a blanket on the bottom-most step and smiled as she settled in and studied the arithmancy books, determined to break through his warding.

After the moon, she still waited endless hours for him to emerge. He was still limping, and she swore that sooner or later, she would be able to be there for him the moment the moon ceased its hold on him. On this eleventh moon, she supposed it was sooner.

Hermione pushed the creaky door open with her foot, carefully surveying the damage. Remus, in human form, sat propped against the stone wall in loose fitting pants and bare torso, staring straight ahead at seemingly nothing. She could feel his preoccupation as he didn't notice the light approach of her footsteps He jerked at her touch upon his shoulder and she knew that she might face his ire for barging her way in, but that it was a price she would willingly pay.

"I thought wards would be a sure indication that I didn't want to be disturbed," Remus said with a churlish attitude as he leveled his gaze upon her. She didn't hesitate as she started to smear bruise paste on his tortured shoulder.

Moony didn't do quite as much damage as normal, but the man left behind still flinched slightly at her touch. She tried to tell herself it was the pain, and not the feel of her fingers on his skin, but she was never sure with this private man.

Pushing away her insecurities, she tried to keep it light replying, "They weren't even that hard to dismantle Remus, it only took me four months."

The sound of his slight chuckle was a balm to her soul.

"Four months," he scoffed, "those were some of my best work, and Death Eaters couldn't even get through them."

She leveled a tentative grin at him as she finished applying the bruise paste and reached to hand him a shirt, surreptitiously ignoring the small flutter in her chest as she realized how fit Remus still was, scars and all.

"Brightest witch of my age and all that," she smirked, and ignored the flutter as he looked at her with warmth in his eyes.

"Here, I brought you some water and a pain potion, and…"

"Hermione," he cut her off sharply. "I don't need you to take care of me. I'm perfectly capable of patching myself back up, did it for years. I can do it again."

The bitterness in his voice was unmistakable, and it urged her into responding more sharply than intended.

"You are not perfectly capable Remus Lupin," her voice rising even as she thrust the pain potion in his face. "You sit and you stare and you barely speak, not even to your son most times. If breaking down your wards and plying you with potions, salves and human interaction can remind you even a little that life is worth living, and that you still have people to care about you and who will look after you, then I will do that as long as it takes." She plopped down gracelessly as he stared at her and then averted his gaze, picking at the imaginary lint on his jumper.

His voice was softer this time as he spoke; still looking at the ground and not at her face or the hand she splayed on his arm. "I don't need you to look out for me; surely you have better things to do."

"If I don't look out for you, who will?" She placed her fingers under his chin, forcing him to meet her eyes and she could see the pain and loss swirling in his amber depths.

"It's not your job." His voice was soft and regretful as he tried to pull away.

She tightened the grip on his face slightly, forcing him to maintain contact with her. "I'm making it my job, if not for you, then for my Godson. He needs you to be okay." She took a shuttered breath and then whispered out, "I need you to be okay."

She felt his exhale as he leaned in closer, amber eyes locking on her chocolate ones.

"Why, Hermione? Why does someone like you worry even one second for someone like me?"

"Because I care about you, you arse," she paused to take a breath, "and I will continue to care about you no matter how many times you push me away. You are my friend, Remus. You have been since I was a swotty fourteen year old who barged in your classroom and demanded to borrow books. I've see you at your worst, and I have seen you fight tooth and nail for what was right and for what you believe in. I've seen the best in you Remus as well," she said softly, "in the way that you love Teddy, how you support Harry." She was mere inches from him now, and it took everything she had not to lean forward and close the gap between his mouth and hers. But she knew it was not the time, and so she released his grip and lightened the mood.

"Besides, you are the only one around here that may be even as remotely smart as I am and you know how much I crave intellectual stimulation." She wrapped an arm around his waist refusing to lose contact and gently leanied against his side as she added more seriously, "I'm not going anywhere."

She felt his breath hitch, as any teasing dying in her throat as she watched him shift, "You can't promise that." He fell silent and she felt his voice break with emotion as he stopped.

"Oh Remus, I know I can't make promises like that, the war taught us all that much," she intoned solemnly. "But I know that I will try like hades to be there for both you and Teddy for as long as you will let me."

"Really Hermione, you don't need to take care of a grouchy, bitter, broken-down wolf."

She always hated when he spoke of himself as more of an animal than man, but she figured now was not the time to fight that particular battle. So instead she pushed away from him slightly, using his chest as leverage to propel herself into a standing position.

"Oh please," she scoffed with a smirk, "if I can spend months on end with Harry while he wore a piece of Voldemort's soul around his neck, I can handle you just fine."

She extended her hand out to him and tried to ignore the feeling in her chest as he took it and thrust himself forward. He was still a little shaky, and she wrapped her arms around his waist, ignoring just how well he fit against her.

"Now let's get you some hot chocolate and a nice warm bed. You don't want all my potions to go to waste now do you?"


	2. Chapter 2

Ad Sanandum Part 2

Pairing: Remione

POST WAR AU where Remus survives.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Harry Potter does not belong to me.

Many thanks to those that reviewed the first pat of it and encouraged me enough to add a second part. You are all amazing. Also many thanks to Shayalonnie for being nice enough to give me encouragement on this one.

This is unbetaed so all the mistakes are mine.

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Remus suppressed a small chuckle as he tiredly leaned on Hermione as they ascended the stairway into the main part of the house. For all of his grumping and grumbling, he was truly grateful for the woman fastened to his side.

He knew he'd become a bit of a pet project for the brilliant witch, and as much as he normally hated pity; he knew that Hermione didn't see it in that light, even if she should. She always was one to champion for the underdog and lost causes.

Ironically, her attention almost made him feel like neither.

As they entered the kitchen proper, he slung himself into a seat and watched her for a moment, taking in once again the capacity of the witch to care for those around her with all that she was. She always saw right down to the soul of a person, and he couldn't help but wonder what she good she glimpsed in the tattered remains of his.

The days and months after the war had taken their toll on all of the survivors in its own way. The Weasley clan banded together in the wake of Fred's loss and even though Hermione and Harry were "almost" like family, they were unintentionally left at loose ends. The pair moved into Grimmauld together, and started to try and move on. It was a week after the war - when Remus was released from Poppy Pomfrey's tender mercies - that Harry had bodily dragged him to Grimmauld Place and declared it home to all of them. Remus was holding himself together until he saw his son firmly encased in Hermione's arms; it was then that he had broken down and completely lost it.

The only thing that registered for days, maybe weeks, was that he was always the one left behind.

He had only just put himself to rights after the loss of Sirius, and there he was mourning Tonks as well. He didn't think that there was anything left to mend back together, until he woke one day to the feel of his son's warm breath against his cheek. Hermione and Harry were curled on the bed beside him, and it occurred to him that at least this time he wasn't the only one that remained. In the days following, he would wake to Harry sleeping in a chair beside the bed Teddy resting on his chest, or Hermione curled in a chair with a book open upon her lap, and it would be the only things that kept him breathing some days.

He was startled out of his reminiscing of the last eleven months by the sound of the mug of hot chocolate scraping upon the wood of the table. He looked up into the cinnamon eyes of Hermione, and wondered just when she had become the glue that slowly mended most of his broken pieces back together.

Over the last year, she had taken on the role of Godmother, healer and therapist; and never asked for anything in return. He had taken that for granted, and it was time to rectify that.

"Thank you."

Hermione's eyes met his as she said, "I thought you could use some hot chocolate."

He grabbed her hand once again willing her to understand, "I mean for more than the hot chocolate and you know it. I don't think I've properly thanked you for all that you have done for Teddy and me."

"You don't need to, Remus. I.."

"I know, but I should." His grip tightened on hers as he cut her off. On mad impulse, he ran one finger over her wrist, just wanting to feel something alive, something real. It had been far too long since he willingly let in any emotion other than loathing and grief. It felt good to feel things that weren't laced with pain, even though he was scared to even try and open himself up to anything more than simply existing.

Her hand shifted in his grasp as she sat down beside him, and he was surprised when she just tightened her hold instead of letting him go. He could sense the hesitation in her body language and he cursed the wolf inside of him for making this woman feel like she was the burden when he knew that most sane people would have cut their losses long ago.

He had missed too many opportunities to let people know what they meant to him, and for once in his life he refused to let the mistakes of the past dictate the future. A voice inside his head that sounded so much like Tonks reminded him that _even old wolves could learn new tricks._ He missed her fiercely even nearly a year later; but he knew that his wife would want him to move on even if he had to let her go to do so. He wasn't sure he was ready to let go yet, but looking at Hermione and seeing her earnest expression made something inside him hope that one day soon he would be able to try.

"I need to thank you for so much. You have singlehandedly kept all three of the Wizards under you care from going utterly spare, and I especially need to make sure you know that it's appreciated. Even though I've been a right bastard for months on end, I am grateful for you sticking by me and taking care of both me and Teddy. I should be relieved that you are too stubborn to ever abandon one of your causes."

"My fighting for werewolves rights Is a cause, Remus. My fighting for you has nothing to do with the wolf inside you and everything to do with the man that you are."

Her words rocked him, and he paused to take a sip of the drink before he could continue. Everyone saw him as Moony first and Remus second, except the woman next to him. She always saw him as Remus and made sure that he knew it.

"Thank you," he replied after a pause and slung and arm around her again and gently squeezed her shoulder, pulling her just a bit closer in what he hoped she saw as a friendly gesture.

"So do I finally get to say goodbye to that bitter wolf who tries to shove me away, or should I expect him to reappear at any moment?" Her tone was again teasing and he hoped that whatever this was between them, that she felt it too.

"Oh, I'm sure he will reappear, but I'm trying to keep him at bay," he teased as she rolled her eyes at the pun. The he added more seriously, "I really am trying Hermione, for Teddy and for everyone else that is barmy enough to stick around." _For you-_ was left unsaid.

"You better, Remus." He heard as she leaned further into him. Then he could hear the tease in her voice as she added, "I have been rumored to know a couple of very well researched hexes and I'm not afraid to use them."

"After being the recipient of one of your famous slaps, I'm even more hesitant to end up on the wrong side of your wand." He spoke the truth, her hand across his face had stung and she packed quite a wallop for someone so tiny.

"Remus, I never apologized for that."

"And you don't have to. I needed it, and it's a good reminder since I would not like to have a repeat." Their eyes locked again, cinnamon on amber and he once again had to remind himself that he needed to take this slow- that he needed to figure out himself still before he got lost in her- because his traitorous mind told him that he could drown in her quickly if he would open himself up.

She nudged him in response and then stood up, placing the cup in the sink as he heard her say, " Harry is out with Teddy visiting Andromeada for another couple hours, so why don't you get some rest while you can."

"I thought I would just go into the Library for a while, there are some new books we received that I still haven't catalogued yet," his tone was hopeful as he thought that the lure of books might halt her in the mission she had to get him to rest.

"As much as it pains me to say, you need rest far more than you need to research more spells. Bed now, books later." He laughed as she gasped at what she just said and then she continued, "I know, I know, it's blasphemy but you still need your rest."

He grumbled behind her as she ascended the steps up to the second floor and their suites of rooms, muttering about bossy witches and arithmancy books. He was still grumbling as they reached his room and she pointed resolutely to the bed.

"Come on old man, don't tell me I have to sing you a lullaby like I do to Teddy so you will settle down and take a nap."

"Oh, I would much prefer you recite passages of arithmancy to me than sing me a song." He teased as he grudgingly made his way to the bed.

He thought it was unconscious on her part that she started following him to the bed, pulling down his sheets and fluffing his pillows. "Oh, you just know a way to a girls heart. Now quit stalling and off to bed with you." Her bossy tone was evident as she patted the mattress.

"Will you stay, just for a few minutes?" His tone was soft as he sat down, and he cursed himself for sounding so vulnerable. Sleep was still something he struggled with, all of them did really, so it wasn't out of the ordinary for them to creep into each other's rooms or fall asleep with the others curled in chairs or far corners of beds.

Still, the fact that he wanted her to stay so badly brought all these doubts to the surface.

It was the tender way she looked at him, that nearly made his heart leap to his throat and chase away any lingering hesitation. He was caught off guard as she responded, "I'll stay with you for even longer than that."

He settled on top of his covers and she climbed in beside him, barely grazing her arm with his as they shifted around, hyper-aware at the space between them, both for it being far too much and not enough all at the same time.

After all the loss, Remus was still getting used to the touch of other people, and warring with the wolf to let himself feel again.

He felt her shift slightly next to him, and let himself relax as she started softy stroking his hair. Touch, he decided as he leaned into her and let her pet him, could maybe be a good thing again. He left out a breath he didn't quite know he was still holding as he let himself drift into the chocolate and potions induced lull, the witch at his side making the aches and pains that lingered from the transformation melt away as if the wounds weren't quite so heavy upon his soul.

They always said that time healed all wounds. Remus thought, cynically that time just made the horrible memories of loss and hurt more distant. The witch methodically carding her fingers through his hair though, she was a different story. He was pretty sure that Hermione Granger had the singular ability to heal everything that he was in a way that maybe no one else had before. Time, he thought would afford him the luxury of finding out.

"Sleep tight Remus, I've got you."

He could feel her words, more than he could hear them, she had whispered so softly, nudging infinitely closer to him as he felt warmth and drowsiness wash over his body.

He shifted closer still, holding on to that feeling of content swirling around in his belly for the first time in recent memory. He was lost in this one, in this woman who knew all of what he was, and stood by him for it anyway. This woman, who he dared to hope even cared for him in a way he had yet to let himself fully imagine.

He felt the tiny whispered wind flit softly over them, and it felt like distant affection and approval.

Smiling, he concentrated on the soft repetitive motion as he let himself relax fully into Hermione's embrace. She had him alright, far deeper than she probably knew.

And with one last murmur, he felt himself slip the realm of consciousness. "I know you do, luv."

He was fast asleep before he could see her smile.


End file.
